The End
by BeyondTheKilljoy
Summary: L is dead and Beyond finds him. One-shot. Please tell me what you think! LxBB


It always starts with the end. I always begin with the end. When I start on a case, it is then end of that case. The bitter taste in my mouth doesn't even start to lessen until the end of a sweet.

I just wouldn't have thought that I would start at my end.

And not here. Not in this land full of nothing that only the twisted of the twisted go to. The only question in my mind is why I am here. Am I truly as horrid as the people I prosecuted?

I look around and all I see is gray. The ground seems to be sinking. Am I seeing the end of the world? Is that where I am? In a place that is no longer habitable for the souls of the earth?

The trees no longer grow. They seem to be covered in ash, and they have no leaves. In the wind, there blows small pieces of soot. Did the earth burn? Is this the end of the earth so this is all the twisted can look at – the beginning of the end of their life?

There as small stream bed, but it is dried up. There are cracks on the bottom of it, but it almost like the sound of the stream can still be heard. I look up and I can't tell if it is the moon or sun above – it is just a dark ball casting darkness on this place.

I sit down on a rock, cool to the touch. Was it that I could still feel after the end? I stare at people and I get a few glances myself. But unlike my looks, the ones I receive no longer have light in their eyes. They have lost hope in this desolate place. It was truly the end for them when it was the end.

It is here, in the end, where he finds me. The one who was almost my end. He comes up to me, a mirror of me, searching me. His eyes pierce mine, and there is some childlike quality to them. The driving madness must have done this to him, but instead of raving anger, he seems to have become innocent again. The innocent one that first came to the orphanage. The one who didn't have the pressure of A on his shoulders.

The innocent one I fell for.

"L, I can finally see your name. Lawliet." I watch his lips form my name; I focus on the drop of his bottom lip.

"Hello, Beyond." His head snaps up at to me – he wasn't expecting me to respond to his prodding. I couldn't keep my lips still. I stare into his dark eyes, so much like mine.

"I know why I am here – or I have a guess… The real question is why you are here?" he says softly cocking his head. His raven hair falls slightly to one side. I imagine twining my hands through his hair.

"I haven't come up with an assumption. Have you?" I ask, just wanting to keep him there with me. I wanted to keep him from asking the real questions.

"I tried to kill myself to thwart you. You knew you could die from trying to catch Kira – though you can't see me, I've been watching you even after I have died – which is like committing suicide. Actually, I have been looking for A. I need to see if she is here – if she is, then my assumption becomes a theory."

"Oh… then why are these criminals here? And people who have written in the Death Note?" I ask as he comes and sits down next to me. I fight an urge to put my head on his shoulders.

"The criminals knew that doing what they did, they would more than likely die in prison. That's giving away their freedom, which is as good as killing themselves."

"And the people in the Death Note?"

"You know as well as I do – it says it in the Death Note." He can tell I'm just testing to see how much he knows. He smiles, complacent. I give him a wry look in return.

"How did you know that, Beyond?" I ask, honestly curious.

"I've been watching you – you can do that from here. All you have to do is find a water supply…which is pretty difficult here. I found one, however, and I've been watching what you've been doing on the Kira case. I saw you get the Death Note, so I knew the rules when you saw them. But I never saw that beast 'shinagami' that you spoke about."

"You'd have to touch the notebook to see it." A thought pops into my head and I look away, pretending to study a bush. In all actuality, I am trying to hide a sad thought from Beyond. He looks around over to me.

"What are you hiding, Lawliet?" he asks softly, leaning closer to me. His eyes look straight inside of me, when I turn around to answer. He can always look right through me. He leans away as I start to speak.

"Were you happy… When you watched me fall from my chair? When my end came?" I say, staring into him. His eyes are a pool that envelops me and fights back the pain.

His head turns to the side a small measurement and I think of a curious puppy. "Of course I was happy." He says, unabashed.

I look away and almost die again. The pain that is clouding my chest is suffocating me… Shouldn't I not feel pain since I am dead? I shouldn't be able to feel at all, not my scared loving or shy embarrassment. Both which I hide very well.

"Oh," is all I can say. My mind and soul – which I probably shouldn't have in the end if logic serves correct – beg him to change the subject.

He can already tell I want him to speak again. He looks down and says softly, "So… can I ask why?" Now I wish he had said anything besides that.

I try to act oblivious but I think he can see through me. My agony slowly fades as I speak. "Why what?"

"Why were me and A selected to be the trial runs? Why were we just trials? Why did they try and make me like A?"

I can tell he has more questions, but he suppresses them. I want to know more about them, but I'll answer his questions first. "Well, there are always trials and though there was a less of a chance of either of you becoming my successors, it wasn't as if you were only thought of as a trial – well, not by me. And they tried since you were more like me than A."

A sweet childish smile lights up his face. "What do you mean you didn't think of me as a trial?"

"A was only focused on the goal – being better than me. You took the time to look around… it wasn't always a game to you. You weren't just a game piece – you were you."

He suddenly leans closer to me, looking at me. I can see the slight lightening of color on his eyelashes. I barely breathe as he talks, his lips so close to touching mine. "And you are you. Why would you never come to the orphanage but would write to me? Did you ever write to A?"

It takes me a second to form an answer. He doesn't look awkward sitting so close to me. Where as I long to lean into him and let my eyes close with his warm breath on my face, he seems alert and his eyes are wide. They stare into mine.

After a few moments, he leans away from me and I inhale deeply. Strangely, I didn't feel the need to.

"Do we have to breathe here, Beyond?" I ask quietly.

He twists his lips in thought, bringing his thumb to him mouth. I imagine pulling his thumb away from his mouth and holding his hand in mine while our mouths are occupied…

"No, we shouldn't have to. We are dead, after all."

His words cut off my day dream – would it be a day dream? Is it day right now?

"Do we need to sleep?" I ask, my curiosity prodding me forward.

"I haven't had to since I've come here."

"Have you met anyone else here that you know…?"

"I've been looking for A, like I said, but if I see anyone I know, they won't talk to me. It's like they're souls have been ripped out of their chests. They are so lifeless."

"Why do you think that hasn't happened to me – or you?"

"You and are different. We have a lot more… ingenuity than the rest of the people here. We can fight off the pressing sadness. After all, we had to all of our life."

My face feels like its blushing – can I blush here? I shouldn't have any blood…should I? And how did he know I fought off grief before the end?

"Oh… Do we still have the ability to feel here? I mean, should we?"

His eyebrow raises and he gives me an inquisitive smile. "I'm not sure if we should, but I still do. And I would put money that you do too."

"Perhaps." I say as I look away from the amusement in his eyes.

"You never answered the question, Lawliet." He seems to find relish in using my actual name. It must make him feel like he has some sort of victory over me.

"You asked two, Beyond. And I had a suspicion that you could tell names from sight. I first gathered this conclusion when Roger met you and without introducing himself, you called him upon name. It was a foolish mistake I don't believe you did again. And I only wrote you letters is because I knew how you were developing… I was curious to know about you. I rarely wrote to A."

"You were just curious? It was just curiosity that drove you? Nothing else?" I don't know why but he seems to be upset. I try to calm him down.

"I wanted to know how you were doing, things about you, your thoughts… isn't that curiosity?" I try to rephrase what I had said before.

He suddenly loses the innocence in his eyes and they are gripped with a mad longing that is unknown to me. He abruptly brings his face closer to mine, holding me with his hands.

"It may just be called curiosity…but I was hoping that you were interested in me specifically." His face is so close to mine, I feel his forehead graze mine. His soft skin pulls at mine.

I can't think.

"I am," I whisper – more like pant. He's too close for me to control my emotions fully. I can feel my chest heaving, begging me to get closer to him.

"Am?" he asks, his voice cool. I feel his warm breath hit me again, its delicious sweet scent drawing me closer. His hand moves from the side of my face to tangle in my hair. He pulls my head upwards and his breath is hitting my neck.

I shiver, trying to control my response. His other hand sliding to my neck does nothing for the shivers. His thumb strokes my neck – the one he bites. To me, it's like his lips are inadvertently touching me.

"I'm still interested." My voice begs for release. The desire is painful – it shows in my tone.

His head rest upon my shoulder; it's turned inwards. His hand on my neck moves again, moves downwards. It trails down my chest, causing my heart – which shouldn't be beating – to go into hyper drive. It moves past my stomach, to the side where it grips my waist.

I try to distract myself from wild hallucinations. I ask, "I know you have more questions… So what are they?"

"Are you disappointed in me?" he asks this question softly.

"Why would I be?" my voice points the sky. I honestly can't find a reason to be disappointed in.

"Because I killed those people, I ran away, I wasn't strong enough." He buries his face in my shoulder and his childish pain shows through. I can tell that if he still had full mental stability, he would have never said that.

I sigh and put my hand on his head. "You killed them for a reason I don't understand, but it's not like I haven't done horrible things. And in the end, you were still brought to justice. You ran away because you couldn't take the responsibility. Some days I wish did too." I force out a laugh, but it is a little strained considering he's stroking my scalp underneath my messy hair.

I keep talking. "And you don't think you're strong? Very few people would have the courage to light themselves on fire and even less would be strong enough to do it and endure the pain while trying to keep quiet. No, Beyond, I am not disappointed."

I feel him smile and turn his face from my shoulder back to my neck. It causes my desires to come back; I think it's because I'm not distracted with talking when he does this.

"Can I tell you a secret, Lawliet?" his voice holds something that makes my longings even more palpable.

I can't talk because I'm in too much pain from fighting doing what I want at the moment. He goes ahead, like I had spoken. "I wrote back, not because I was being respectful, but because I was interested as well. I don't care if I never get to beat you – I got what I wanted."

"Which was?" I ask, not processing what he had just said.

"I got you to myself – I managed to get you to notice me." His voice is sugar. So sweet.

"You thought I didn't notice you?" my head raises and his hand just moves a couple inches to the back of my neck. I look at him, who is staring at me unabashed on my shoulder. The want in his eyes isn't saint like, and I can feel it inside of me as well. I wonder if my yearning is written on my face like it is written on his face. "How could I not notice you? You were in my thoughts all the time – even more when you left."

I let my hands entwine in his hair, picking it up. His other hand travels down my spine, to my waist. It joins his other hand. "Why didn't you try to find me then?" he asks softly. His voice sound hurt – almost like I gave him a wound that never healed right.

I let out a tender laugh, putting my forehead on his. "I searched forever. When I found you, I tried to tell myself that it was just a job. But it wasn't. I couldn't face you if I wanted to. It would have destroyed me. I wanted to see you after I caught you but I didn't have the courage. The only reason you were left alive is because I told them to keep you alive."

"Why?" his voice is a whisper. A whisper that's wind touches my face, shocking me still.

"Because you killed three –"

"No, why did you tell them to keep me alive?"

I don't want to tell him the truth, but there is some small part of him I can't deny. "Because it gave me some small pleasure to know that you were alive. That if I wanted, I could have made my move any time I wished." My voice comes out like gravel and I can barely fight my urges. I know I'll be caving in soon if he doesn't move away. Fast.

"Your move?" his smiles slightly. "You wouldn't wait on my move before you tried yours, Lawliet?"

"I'm very impatient." I say as I stroke his jaw line.

"What would that be again? Your move?" his head turns somewhat upwards, already knowing the answer to my question.

His lips are inches away from me. My cravings collapse into my logic and run loose in my brain. I moan as I give in, and I know that no matter how quickly I play out my longings, it will never be quick enough.

I grab his face roughly, no longer caring about my need to keep a distance with him. I can feel his hands tighten on my waist. Somehow, I know that no matter how tight he holds me, it will never be tight enough.

"This would be my move, Beyond." I say, letting all of my emotions pour out into my words. He moans at the intentions in my tone.

I let my lips attach to his, pressing his skin to mine. They are just as sweet as I thought they would be. And since we don't have to breathe, I don't know when we are going to stop. Not that I want to.

And in this moment, I realize my beginning started with the end.


End file.
